Some People Juggle Geese

After a night of abrupt awakenings, fussy feeding, deluged diapers, and a touch of self-urination, we all awoke to promising morning.  Shay did some laundry on the third floor and I got to sit with Jayne while he adamantly grabbing at his feet and IV lines.  About the time that Shay got back with breakfast, our resident doctor came in to let us know that his ANC had dropped to zero.

Talk about a buzzkill.

But his fever has stayed down, his blood pressure is normal, and everything in his chest cavity and abdomen sounds great.  Yet we are still held captive by uncooperative neutrophils.  It isn't as bad as it might seem.  We still play with him, we still get out of the room every now and then, and, most importantly, we haven't started carving tick marks in the wall and singing bassy blues.  There is even a hope that Shay and I will be out of these four walls in time to celebrate our first anniversary.  By sleeping for eight hours that night in a real bed.

Even if we only have a week out of the hospital, it will still be good to be able to take Jayne for a walk in the sun so that he doesn't look like the singer from the Smashing Pumpkins when we have to check back into medical motel.  It will be nice to let him sleep through the night without vital checks, without having to administer oral medicine every few hours, or be accosted by an ever-changing merry-go-round of nurses wearing masks.  As tough as he is, it is start to weigh on him.  He's getting cranky, as cranky as our very reserved, very inquisitive little guy can be.

But he still has a smile for everyone.

Yesterday Jayne and I had a dance off, albeit just using our heads and shoulders.  He had a blast.  We played peekaboo, he laughed and laughed.  He still squeaks, squeals, exclaims, oohs and ahhs, smiles, and laughs.  There are teenagers on this floor who can't force themselves into such outward displays of happiness.  So, yes, it is starting to affect him, why wouldn't it?  But he is also persevering.  There were some fears that Jayne wouldn't develop, physically, mentally, or emotionally, the same in the hospital as he would have had his blood and bones not betrayed him.  For some children, I'm sure that is the case, and it must take a very long time for their behavior and development to adjust back towards something approaching normalcy.  Jayne is a special case, as anyone who had ever met him would attest.